I am my own Grandpa - The video

Okay, before I go on with my crazy life and the intermingled marriages of my family, I won’t keep you waiting for my funny video.

Remember that I told you that a co-worker of mine sent this to me. We always talk about our lives and they can never keep up with my family. So, we had a good laugh over this.

It is a video of a guy playing a guitar and singing about his family. How he married a widow and became a father to her grown children. Then his own father fell in love with his step daughter and married her. That made his father become his son-in-law.

Then they had a baby son. That boy was really his fathers grandson, but he was also his brother in law……

You get the idea of the song!

As I go along and explain my family throughout this blog. Its okay, go ahead and laugh, so do I!

Enjoy the video!

Lost in the split..... My brother, Ronnie

While growing up with my brother, Ronnie, we were typical siblings. We fought like crazy, but would fight to the death to protect one another. And although he would get into normal boy mischief, he was a good kid. When I say normal boy mischief, I mean getting into trouble for not listening to my mother or father, or not doing his chores, etc.

Looking back, I think that the worst thing that he ever did was when he stole a pack of cigarettes from my father’s carton. Then, one night while our parents were away, he brought it out and together we took one cigarette out of the pack and lit it up. We really did not know how to inhale, but, together we “smoked” it and then hid the rest of the pack, behind the refrigerator.

Well, wouldn’t you know that over the weekend, my mother decided that it was time to clean under the refrigerator? Low and behold, when she pulled it out, the pack of cigarettes with one missing, fell down. She started screaming for us to get into the kitchen and when we admitted to her that we had smoked the one that was missing, we were in trouble. My mother grabbed the flyswatter and spanked us both.

And let me just say that if you have never been swatted with a flyswatter before, count yourself lucky. It hurts!

That was all it took for me, I never tried it again. As for Ronnie, he did it again and this time my father caught him and made him eat some cigarettes.

That took care of him until…….. the big split up and my father took him from my mother. As I said, he did not want him; he just wanted to get back at my mother. So, he started letting Ronnie smoke, swear, skip school, pretty much do whatever he pleased.

Moving back to Orlando was a happy time for me. I was eager to be closer to my sisters and was glad to get away from the troubles with my aunt in Jacksonville. My cousins (or step-brothers) and I were enrolled in Milwee Middle School.

All went well for awhile; I had made new friends and liked the school. But, one day while switching classes, I noticed some kids “dragging” this kid around. He was completely stoned and when I got closer, I saw his face. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. It was Ronnie! I did not want anyone to know that he was my brother, so I literally dove into the lockers to hide my face. From that day, I did everything possible to keep away from him. Everyday was the same; he would be so stoned that he could not walk. How he was able to remain at school is beyond me.

I knew that it would happen eventually; one day they came into the lunchroom and he spotted me. That day was a good day for him, he wasn’t near as stoned. However, for me it meant that my secret was out. I quickly got up and went outside, only to be followed by him. I told him that I was ashamed of him and that he needed to get his self straightened out and until he did, I didn’t want him hanging around Alvie, Billy or me. My friends seemed to understand and did not “shun” me from our circle of friends.

Shortly after that, he went to live with his biological mother, Marie. She had married and had a son and was trying to turn her life around. She had been out of the picture pretty much his whole life. A few times when we were little, we would go and meet her so that she could see Ronnie. He always called her Marie and my mother was mama. And Marie was fine with that. She always admired my mother and later on in life they became good friends.

However, she worked in a bar and although I never saw her drink, she hung out with men who did. And for that reason, my father did not allow her to take him for any period of time.

I might have said a lot of bad things about my father, but, one thing good about him was that he never allowed drinking and swearing around us. He never drank except for Christmas and New Years. We always had family parties so he would have a social drink. However, I never saw him drink too much.

Boy, did I do it? Did I just pay him a compliment? I guess so, but believe me; they will be far and in-between!

So, I pretty much blame my father for Ronnie “going bad”. Ronnie grew up hating our father; he hated everything about him! But, the sad thing is, he turned out just like him. If you can imagine, he turned out worse.

At least our father was a hard worker and brought money into the household to keep a roof over our heads. Sometimes we had no food in our house, but we were not homeless. The empty cupboards were not because he had no money, he just would give my mother 20.00 for groceries and expect it to last a few weeks. So, she always seemed to get by with beans and potatoes. And at the time, we did not know any different. We were kids and our bellies were full. We were lucky, not all kids are that fortunate!

I am my own Grandpa - A window of opportunity....... part 2

Finally, the day came where she made her break. My mother had not given my brother or I any advance notice. She got us up that morning, fed us and sent us to school as normal. My guess is that she did not want us to talk her out of it or just wanted us out of her way so that she could get it done quickly. She had it all planned out……. My father had just left town on a week long trip. She rented a U-Haul trailer and moved a few things into it. She left behind any big furniture and instead just took our personal belongings and any sentimental items that we had.

For her, along with her brother, Porter, and his wife, Diane, it was a busy day. Their goal was to get everything into the U-Haul and get to our schools before the school bell rang at the end of the day. They had all decided to move to Jacksonville. We would be closer to my grandmother and we would be able to make a fresh start.

So, in the afternoon, before the bell rang, I was called up to the front office. Although, I thought it was strange, I knew that it was not because I was in trouble as I was always the good girl or the teacher’s pet. When I got to the front office my mother was standing there and told me that she had taken me out of school for good as we were moving to Jacksonville. I was allowed to go back to my room, gather any personal belongings and say goodbye to my teacher. Having to say goodbye to him was hard. I was in the 6th grade and Mr. Holbrook had been my favorite teacher since I started Lake Weston Elementary in the 1st grade. The year was almost over and I had no idea what school or what teacher I would end up with to finish out the 6th grade.

Needless to say, I was not happy and neither was my brother, Ronnie. When we got to the car, my two brothers, my aunt and my uncle were waiting for us.

Upon arriving in Jacksonville, we stayed with my grandmother for a couple of nights, but, were able to rent a 2 story house on her street during that same week. My brother and I were enrolled in new schools and I was even chosen as a school patrol, which I loved!

To be able to afford the rent, we all lived together. And also included in the bunch was my Uncle John. My Uncle John had been married to my Aunt Kathleen, who was my mother’s sister. Growing up, we had always been close to their family and I had four cousins that I grew up with. However, they had just divorced, he needed a place to go and we were all short on money. So, we all lived together and split the bills.

For that week, although it was hectic, I felt like our family was getting back to normal and we had peace. But, that was the CALM BEFORE THE STORM……..

On Sunday morning, my father came in from his trip and found us gone. My mother had left him a “Dear John letter”, so he knew where we had gone. Now keep in mind that my mother had never married my father and had never legally adopted my brother, Ronnie.

Sunday afternoon, my father brought the police to my grandmothers house to get all three of his children. My grandmother told them where we lived and after a big fuss between my mother and father, the police told my mother that she would have to give up my brother, Ronnie, or she would be charged with kidnapping. As for Glen and I, my father was told that since my mother had possession of us, she could keep us until a judge decided on custody. My father told my mother to enjoy the time that she had with us, because in the end a judge would give him custody. He told her that she did not stand a chance of keeping us because she could not provide for us on a waitresses salary.

My mother was hysterical because she had my brother, Ronnie, crying for her. She was the only mother that he had known and as far as she was concerned he was her son. As children, we did not understand the law. The only thing that we knew was that we were being torn apart! And the stupid part of it all was that my father really did not want my brother. He did it out of spite for my mother!

After he left, my mother was crying uncontrollably, she had lost her son and stood the chance of losing both of us as well. She felt like a judge might decide that because my father made more money and could provide a housekeeper to watch the children that she would lose us.
Uncle John (my Aunt Kathleen’s ex-husband) told her that it would be a cold day in hell before he let my father get us. Shortly after, he and my mother married.

Okay, this is where things start looking like “I am my own Grandpa!” ---- Stay with me now!
This did not make my Aunt Kathleen happy and therefore we had a family feud going on.

Not to mention, that my uncle was now my step-father and my cousins were now my step-brothers. But, as for us children, we thought that it was kind of neat, we were always close anyway, so now we just teased about being brothers and sisters. John, (what I called my uncle, now) was always very good to me. You see, he had boys and had never had a daughter, so he was happy to call me his daughter. Glen was young and craved the love from John. In this picture that I found in my mothers personal items, Glen and John could pass for father and son. You can see that Glen admired and wanted to be like John.



Although, my mother ended up getting custody of us, our home life went from a wife beating father to a CRAZY aunt stopping by at all hours of the night to fight with my mother and John. She worked nights as a dancer and she would get off work and come by in the early morning hours. I would awake to her screaming. If we ran into her in town, she would literally start beating up on my mother.

So, we ended up moving back to Orlando. For awhile, my cousins Alvie and Billy even came to live with us. We went to school together and told everyone that we were brothers and sisters. John always said that he really cared for my mother and that if they had met years ago, their marriage would have probably survived. However, it was doomed from the start and in a few short years, they divorced.

As for my brother Ronnie, it is too long of a story to start……..

I will let this sink in and then I will tell you about Ronnie. You won’t believe what happened!

I am my own grandpa...... In the beginning.......

No, I am not a grandpa! But, I got a kick out of a joke that my co-worker sent me. It truly made me think of my family (although we are not quite as bad) and I thought that I would post a few chapters on my mixed up family!

After I totally confuse you, I will post the joke so you can have a good laugh! My co-workers are always trying to figure my family out. I told them to stop trying because we can't even keep it straight! Let me try and explain a little (and some of this, my co-workers have not even heard).........


Before my father met my mother, he had been married a couple of times. His first marriage to Verta May produced 3 daughters - Linda, Brenda and Judy. Upon their divorce, my father got custody of Linda and Brenda. Judy had not been born yet and my father did not even know that a baby was on the way. Their mother stayed away and eventually remarried. So, we did not know about or grow up with Judy. She came along when I was around 15 years old.


Then he married Marie and they had my brother Ronnie. Upon their divorce, he won custody of Ronnie as well.


Stay with me now...... I am just beginning. Finally, he met my mother. They were never married but stayed together for 13 years. My mother was glad to raise his children because she was told that she was unable to have children of her own. However, during the time they were together, my mother's prayers were answered and she gave birth to me (Barbara) and my younger brother, Glen.


Those years were hard on my mother but she raised all 5 of us as "her" children. No one was thought of differently in her eyes. Looking back, even though she went through pure hell with my father, there were a lot of good times as a family. And believe it or not, not all my memories of my father are bad ones. Sisters got married and had children of their own. In fact, my mother was pregnant (with Glen) at the same time that my sister, Linda, was pregnant with her first son, Greg. They delivered just 4 days apart and as my sister was leaving the hospital, my mother was being admitted.


In spite of my father, we had a close family. However, it was always thrown in my mothers face that if anything ever happened between her and my father, he would get custody of Glen and I as well. After all, he had gotten custody of all his other children before. Why wouldn't he be awarded custody of us? And deep down my mother was afraid that it just might happen. So, she stayed and stayed and stayed, taking all of the abuse that went along with it.


A couple of times my mother planned to leave him. So, she had our suitcases packed and when my father came home from a trip (he was a long distance truck driver) and got into the shower, we threw our suitcases in the trunk and took off. Both times, before we got a mile down the road, my brother Ronnie and I were crying and pleading with her to go back home because he would come and find us. We were afraid of what he would do to her. So, we would go back and sneak into the house before he ever knew that we were gone...... Looking back on it now, I really feel bad about making my mom feel guilty, but those times happened even before Glen came along. So, it was meant to be....... or we wouldn't have Glen.


When Glen was about a year old my father and mother got into a huge fight. My mother had enough, she didn't even take anything with her, she just grabbed us 3 kids and left walking down our dirt road. Before we even got out of sight, my father came down the road in his semi truck and tried to run us over. My mother threw us in a big ditch and jumped in after us. Once again, he drug us home and gave my mother a beating.

So, that is the story of what sister or brother is from what mother........ I will give you time to let that sink in! Stay tuned for part 2.....